How good are you at expressing your feelings? Do you often feel at a loss for words to describe what you are feeling (to another person or to yourself). Part of being an emotionally healthy person is to have the vocabulary for talking about feelings. If we don't have the vocabulary, we will live in an emotionally stunted world.
So...make a list of all of the feeling words you can think of--and ask others to contribute to your list. Then, incorporate those words into your talk. Have fun with this. Hang the list on the refrigerator. If you have children, start developing their feeling vocabulary.
When you post, discuss this idea of emotional vocabulary and offer a few new words to our other commenters.
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Courtney Busick - COMM 460
ReplyDeleteI actually never thought I had this problem - name the feeling and talk about it - until last summer when I was taking Dr. Werking's Interpersonal Communication course. That was the first time I reflected on my ability to name and think about my emotional vocabulary. Since then, my relationships and the conflicts have taken a new course. I am better able to communicate my needs and how I am really feeling. It's also more than just saying, "I'm feeling ________ [insert feeling]." Why are you feeling this way? When I name the appropriate feeling, I feel it's best to say why because that accurately describes it more.
There is a difference between "upset" versus "angry." Some words may seem too vague or broad and you use them to describe how you're feeling because you don't know another word. I would first suggest taking the time to actually reflect on how you feel. I know in the heat of the moment when I am all fired up to talk about something, I'll spout off a word that could cover a million different emotions, like "upset." What if that meant I was scared? Ok, getting better... what about apprehensive? Apprehensive is a better word to accurately describe my feelings of being scared about a particular situation. Remember there are levels of "mad" or varying degrees of "sad." These words are too broad and when you are mad, you may just really be agitated because you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning because you were so busy running around work.
Other words:
Discouraged
Agitated
Overwhelmed
Ignored
Capable
Anxious
Delighted
Outraged
I think that I am pretty good at knwing what to say in a conversation. I usually think about what I am going to say before I say it. Now saying it is a different thing. I am always worried about hurting someone elses feelings. I have a lot of words in my emotional vocabulary such as like, dislike, know, hurt, sad, happy, frustrated, and so on. My husband and I have worked very hard to teach our children that it is important to talk about how they are feeling rather than keeping it bottled up.
ReplyDeleteI think it is important to have a good emotional vocabulary. These are the words you use to describe the way you are feeling. When I am trying to describe the way I am feeling to someone I have a wide range of words I use to do this. For example, I say I want to make ammends to someone. This means I have wronged someone in someway and I acknowledge my part. By making an ammends, I am forgiving myself and also asking for forgiveness. I also express my feelings by using the word resentment. If I resent someone for something, I am usually angry or still affected in someway by something someone has done. Feelings of resentment are not always bad, but I try to look at why I am feeling this way. I usually tell the person if I have resentment with them so that my actions do not reflect my feelings. And if they do the other person already knows what it is about and we can try to resolve it.
ReplyDeleteI often think I can't describe my feelings. Many times, I just describe myself as cranky. I don't even know why I am annoyed and that, in itself, annoys me. It makes me feel like an old person.
ReplyDeleteMore than anything, I don't feel much of anything. I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing, it's just that I am busy going through the motions of life. I'm not sad or happy about, it just is.
If I had to add one of my favorite words about feelings I would add one that I heard on a sit-com. I think it was Drew Carey. They used the term Patheti-Sad. It was defined as when you feel so pathetic about yourself it just makes you sad to be you. I could relate.
T.Woods Comm-315
Posted by Branden Hatfield (Comm 315-50)
ReplyDeleteI would like to think that I am fairly competent at expressing my thoughts and feelings. Whenever I have something bothering me, am angry, sad, or happy, I am usually quite vocal about it. I would gather that this comes from living with a woman for the last three years. Rather we are getting along, or arguing, we must be able express how we feel, and why we feel how we do, to each other. Having a strong emotional vocabulary, and being able to use it accordingly, is very important. This will allow you to express what you are feeling, to a multitude of different people. Some of my favorite, lesser used words are : flustered, flabbergasted, incredulous, and livid. I use these to describe an array of emotions.
Sydney Smith Comm 460.
ReplyDeleteI would have to say that I am very good at expressing my thoughts and feelings to whoever I am around whether it be an intimate or the most basic relationship. I have never had a problem being able to let someone know that I am feeling, emotional, anxious, stressed, happy, upset, sad, hopeful, nervous, exhausted, etc. I think that I am very vocal because that is the way that I was raised because one thing we have to remember is that other people are not mind readers. Now, for me to be such a vocal person, in intimate relationships I have always ended up dealing with a person who is the exact opposite and when it came to expressing feelings could never find the right words. It is important to have a strong vocabulary to pull from to express ones emotions because like I mentioned earlier, other people are not mind readers.
I have overachieved in the ability to express emotions. Sometimes I wish I couldn't express them so well. I am a sentimental person and I feel emotions easily and can express them even easier. Recently with graduation just a few weeks away emotions have run through me like crazy. I feel anxious, overwhelmed, excited, nervous, and determined. I like to understand other people and what they are feeling and I think it is important to be able to express how you are feeling instead of bottling it up.
ReplyDeleteFavorite emotional expressions:
Disbelief (good and bad)
I like the one mentioned by Branden...livid
exasperated
speechless
delighted
joyous
just plain happy
I have trouble expressing my feelings when I am trying to communicate my feelings to the person that I am in a relationship with. I don't have a problem expressing my feelings when I am talking to my friends. Taking classes such as this has help me become better at expressing my feelings but I still have a long way to go. I can sit and hold a conversation, all day, with my partner when the conversation doesn't have anything to do with emotional feelings. I don't know if my problem is because I am at a loss for words or that I am a very closed person and being a closed person makes me scared to let people into, what I consider, my personal space. I believe that its important to let the person that you are in a relationship with know your feelings and thoughts because it can help the relationship grow. It also gives the person the opportunity to get to know who you really are. I have always been worried about someone knowing a lot about me because they can take that information and use it against you. This is a problem that I have been working on because I know it needs fixing. I have become better at expressing my feelings and hopefully I will continue to improve and become the man that I know I am capable of becoming. I need to step up and show my kids that its o.k. to express your emotions, I say this because kids learn from their parents and since I don't show much emotion they might learn to be the same way.
ReplyDeleteI believe it is very important to let your feelings be known. I do my best to make sure I always tell others how I feel. I really do not like hurting other people's feelings, but sometimes when an injustice is occurring it's often possible to hurt another's feelings to cure that injustice. Some of the words in my emotional vocabulary are stressed, frustrated, excited, pumped, tired, etc.
ReplyDeleteComm 460
ReplyDeleteMorgan Tardiff
I’ve definitely never been the type of person who has an easy time expressing their feelings. Growing up it wasn’t something that was really discussed in my family. I rarely every cry because I’ve been taught that the more emotional you are the weaker you are. So I usually suppress my emotions and after a while the problem seems to go away. I’ve had problems when it comes to relationships because you are suppose to tell each other how you feel and discuss problems that might be happening within the relationship. I’m usually the one in the relationship that tries to avoid talking about things so this exercise was an experience. My boyfriend and I both made a list of feelings words. We then compared our list and it was very interesting to see the type of feelings words we came up with and the words we stayed away from.
I don't feel like I have a hard time expressing my emotions. I find it helps me most to not hold in my feelings and tell someone when I am upset or hurt. I know even if expressing my emotions upsets them or makes them mad that true friends and caring family will always come back around. I find myself expressing these emotions: ecstatic, stressed,overwhelmed, relaxed, bored, angry, hurt...and so many more. In most my relationships, especially with my sons father I am always the first to bring up when there are problems or what is bothering me. I feel like I am emotionally healthy in the sense I can express how I feel easily.
ReplyDeleteCharlotte Shumate
ReplyDeleteClass 460
Blog 4/2/09
At the ripe old age of 57 I now know that it is okay to express yourself in many ways and not worry so much about what you say or so. When I was younger I was a bit backwards and didn’t always express myself as fully as I do now. I was always concerned if I would hurt someone’s feelings or make them mad. Over the years I have learned that if you are a pretty normal person you know how to conduct yourself and what you can say and cannot say. I pretty much express myself daily and I don’t hold back a lot. There are many words that would describe feelings and emotions so I will list a few below that come to mind. I feel loved daily especially by my family so of course love is one of my words. I also feel very blessed I have a home, a nice family, a job to go to and friends I hold dear to my heart. I feel sad at times but who doesn’t the mood doesn’t last long usually so that is good. I get upset when I see people driving and texting as they drive it can be very dangerous. I feel sad when I think about my deceased husband I miss him a lot. I feel lonely at times without him to share my life but I keep going because he would want me to. I get excited when I think about my grandsons and my two children and how much they love me unconditionally and I them. I get a little stressed trying to type this with one hand since I broke my left hand but hey I’m doing okay just takes longer. I could go on and on but life is what you make it so I try to choose words that make me feel good. Life is such a special journey so why not make it a happy one.
Happy
Sad
Mad
Upset
Hurt
Dear
Lonely
Stressed
Excited
Thrilled
Loved
Blessed
315-50 Interpersonal Communication Brandi Koch
ReplyDeleteCommunicating has not always been easy for me in every situation, but it is amazing how, as we get older, we begin to speak up more and more about what we want and how we feel. I have no problem telling my husband if something is bothering me. Before, I may have worried if someone would get upset with me for being upset with them. Silly right? I guess that is where self confidence comes with age. It is funny how your mood can change suddenly during the day as well. I can go from happy to tired to annoyed to frustrated back to happy all in the matter of a few hours - usually this will happen at work. I am a pretty good spirited person, so I think I spend most of my time in the "happy" place. Some emotions I do not like are loneliness and jealousy. There is no need to feel this way, but every so often, these feelings creep in. I would much rather feel joyous, elated, relaxed, energetic and fun-filled all the time!
Angela Clayton from COM460-50 says....
ReplyDeleteBeing a woman at times I feel like I can't control my emotions. Watching a sad movie can bring tears to my eyes so easy...I blame it on hormones. But at times if I'm too emotional I can't express my feelings the way I wish. I sometimes come off as cold or uncaring and that is not me, that's my shell I like to call it. I can't always be so emotional so when dealing with illness, death, or hard issues my boyfriend tells me that I'm cold and distance but I'm really holding back my upset emotions and trying to keep myself together where I suppose I do come off as uncaring. But when I'm by myself I do let my emotions out and a good cry does make me feel better. I feel like I'm very emotional, caring, devoted, loving, too invovled. This can cause issues but I feel like its part of me so it comes with the package.
I agree with Courtney. It wasnt until I took the imtimate communications class with Dr. Werking that I understood where i was emotionally and how to express it properly. Through expression, you can not only disclose personal information about yourself to someone you want to get close to, but also you can control some of your stress if you can identify why you are feeling a certain way. My friends and i sat down and compiled a list of words to expand our emotional vocabulary such as:
ReplyDeleteaggravated
amused
anxious
apathetic
argumentative
aroused
ashamed
betrayed
blank
blessed
blissful
bored
bouncy
bullied
busy
cantankerous
calm
cheerful
cold
cranky
crushed
curious
cynical
depressed
determined
devious
disappointed
discontent
distracted
drained
ecstatic
embarrassed
energetic
envious
enlightened
excited
exotic
fabulous
fascinated
focused
forgotten
gallant
gloomy
groggy
guilty
happy
hyper
imaginative
irreplaceable
indifferent
inspired
infuriated
inquisitive
intense
intimidated
irritated
jealous
jolly
lazy
lethargic
lonely
loved
mad
miserable
moody
naughty
nauseated
nostalgic
numb
obsequious
optimistic
peaceful
pessimistic
played
pleased
rejected
rebellious
refreshed
rejuvenated
relaxed
romantic
sad
sassy
scared
satisfied
shocked
selective
sick
smart
sleepy
surprised
sympathetic
talkative
tested
thankful
thirsty
thoughtful
tired
uncomfortable
used
validated
vexed
vibrant
wamted
weird
worried
Karla Crawford-315
ReplyDeleteNot until taking Interpersonal Communication I've never thought about word I use to express my feelings or emotions. Depending on the person, there are words that I shy away from. Those who I am close to I share my feelings with openly. I use words like, 'care' and 'love.' No matter if I'm upset or disappointed with someone, I want them to know how I feel, however it sometimes takes me a while to get close to some people so even if I'm feeling a certain way or have a difference of opinion with them, I won't say a word because I don't think it's my place to express my feelings to them.
Kathy Mattingly--COMM 315
ReplyDeleteI always thought I was very good at expressing my feelings when talking to people but after being in this Interpersonal Communication class, I realized that my emotional vocabulary was limited. I think the reason we limit our vocabularies in any sense is because we don't really know the meaning of some of the words that are out there. While there are varying degrees of mad, we may not fully understand where we are on that spectrum and don't know another word for it so we just say we're mad. After looking at Ashley Gillespie's list of emotional words, I found that I knew most of them but I wouldn't say that I've used them. The ones I didn't know, I wouldn't even know when to use them. I think over the next couple of weeks I will be looking closer at how I truly communicate my feelings with others. I've already begun the process with ensuring I set up supportive climates and engage in dual perspective, now I need to make sure I'm truly conveying what I feel through better, more precise words. I would add a few to Ashleys list: astounded, befuddled, disturbed, distant, hopeful, irrate, jovial, joyful, lost and manic.
The topic of this post reminds me of one of my biggest pet peeves. I try pretty diligently to accurately express my feelings. It's not always easy--the words aren't always on the tip of my tongue--but even if I can't find the "right" word, I try to use the ones at my disposal to convey my feelings as best I can. What bugs me is when people will say, "I don't know." Those three words can take on numerous meanings. My ex-husband was notorious for using them. I would ask him what he was feeling, what was bothering him, etc., and more often than not his response would be, "I don't know." To me, this could mean that he didn't have the capacity to put the feelings into words, or maybe he just didn't want to discuss it with me. Whatever the reasoning behind it, what bothered me the most was that he didn't try. He wouldn't try to help me understand him or even offer up any feeling word, even if it wasn't perfect.
ReplyDeleteI think it's pretty frustrating to not know how you feel, so I try this sort of self-exploration when I seem to hit a verbal wall, if you will. If I'm feeling "down," for example, I try to find the best fit for that feeling. Maybe it's that I'm frustrated, annoyed, overwhelmed, baffled, contemplative, introspective, tired, or burnt out. If I feel "happy," maybe the better description would be that I am satisfied, hopeful, calm, accomplished, proud, joyful, excited, elated, or peaceful.
Whatever the feeling is, I like to understand it. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that I am in tune with myself. If I understand what I feel, then I have a better idea of how to handle it--good or bad. If I really "don't know," I'll keep trying to fill in that blank until I am confident in my answer. After all, if I can't figure it out, how am I supposed to relay it to those around me?
~Thompson 460
Rebecca Hunt
ReplyDeleteComm 315
I am a big believer in communicating feelings even when it's very difficult. I have heard many times people say that you can't just put a band-aid over your emotions and pretend they aren't there. You will eventually have to deal with things one way or another. The best way to deal is to talk through your feelings.
My grandfather passed away this Sunday and I really haven't felt much like talking all week. However, I try to make myself talk to friends and family even though it brings all that pain to the surface. If I don't work through my emotions now, I will have to work through them later, and they will probably have caused me some harm by that time.
Some words I have used this week are:
Heartbroken
Blessed
Afraid
Thankful
Disappointed
Monique Stepney COMM 460
ReplyDeleteI know previously I have had the problem of being "emotionally mute." I usually can discuss that I am angry or sad, but it will not be until the problem has subsided and everyone has let it go and possibly forgot about it. Now I am working on techniques that will allow me not to lose my cool in the midst of the situation and so can communicate more efficiently... some of the communication words that I have learned to use are:
upset
neglected
apologize
sad
turned away
ignored
I understand
I have always had trouble expressing how I feel and I do believe vocabulary is part of the rason but it is also allowing yourself to be that vulnerable in front of another person. I try to always be the strong one and it usually blows up in my face or I end up blowing up in someone else's face once things have been too much for me. I have learned "I" statements can sometimes help if the other person isn't a complete idiot but I have also learned that broadening ones emotional vocabular can make a world of difference. Some useful words: Validated, Slap-Happy
ReplyDeleteFlabbergasted, Empathetic
I have learned over the last few years that i was not as good at communicating my feelings at times as i thought i was. THere are times when i can express myself very openly and accurately. I can get exactly what im feeling expressed to the other person in a way that they can understand and respond to. I found out that these times when i can do this is when i am very calm and in control of my emotions. When I am upset or angry or annoyed or basically any emotion where i am not calm and thinking clearly then my ability to express is badly hindered. When i am all jacked up i struggle to find the words to describe what im feeling, i often get very basic with my adjectives and i do not elaborate so it leaves the conversation feeling very one sided because the other person is lost to what im trying to say.
ReplyDelete-exhausted
-helpless
-left out
-secluded
-confused because...
Adam Froman-315
I think many times I have difficulty expressing my emotions. I think, too often, I define and express my emotions in too broad of a term, that is when I actually vocalize my feelings or emotions. Many times I hold in what I'm feeling, which I realize is not healthy, for fear of hurting someones feelings or overstepping my foundries. When I do take the time to express myself a term like "mad" could mean many different things and it really doesn't let anyone know the specifics of what I'm feeling. Before taking this course I never really thought of the importance of expressing my emotions specifically and effectively to others.
ReplyDeleteTurner - 315
Maria Davidson COMM 315-50
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wish that I didn’t always use so much emotional vocabulary when I speak. I am overly expressive at times and I also write the same way. My “like and dislike” are more of “crazy about and can’t stand”. I am also very detailed when it comes to communicating. Whenever my children, husband and I communicate we always include our “why”. That means if we have an idea, a stance, an opinion, and most importantly – a feeling, we express why we feel the way we do. I think by doing so we keep lines of communication open and honest.
I hadn't started to think about how well i express my emotions until a couple years ago. In grade school and high school I always suppressed the 'bad' emotions because I thought i was only supposed to be happy and if I ignored the other ones they would go away. I think part of it had to do with how I was raised as a guy. Currently, my girlfriend is helping me express my emotions and more clearly understand how I am feeling, which helps me become a more healthy and happy person. I've found that I still have a hard time managing my emotions when I am upset or distressed. I think finding out what makes me tick is the key to my motivation and ambition in life and figuring out where I want to go.
ReplyDeleteHow good am I at expressing my feelings? I would say that it depends on the situation or the people I am expressing to. There are certain people that I can openly express with and feel comfortable in doing so, such as my husband, sister, parents, friends, and grandparents. However, I am not good at expressing my feelings with people that I hardly know. I have heard about the "stranger on a plane" theory where people say it is easy talk about things you wouldn't normally talk about and express your feelings quite openly due to the fact you don't expect to ever see them again. Emotional vocabulary plays an important role in each of our lives, and during communication it is vital to stress exactly what you mean so that their is no confusion. Here is a list of a few feeling words I came up with to add to the list: accomplished, adventurous, argumentative, blessed, bouncy, busy, confident,creative, determined, energetic, grateful, luminous, mellow, nervous, optimistic.
ReplyDeleteHow good am I at expressing my feelings? I would say that it depends on the situation or the people I am expressing to. There are certain people that I can openly express with and feel comfortable in doing so, such as my husband, sister, parents, friends, and grandparents. However, I am not good at expressing my feelings with people that I hardly know. I have heard about the "stranger on a plane" theory where people say it is easy talk about things you wouldn't normally talk about and express your feelings quite openly due to the fact you don't expect to ever see them again. Emotional vocabulary plays an important role in each of our lives, and during communication it is vital to stress exactly what you mean so that their is no confusion. Here is a list of a few feeling words I came up with to add to the list: accomplished, adventurous, argumentative, blessed, bouncy, busy, confident,creative, determined, energetic, grateful, luminous, mellow, nervous, optimistic.
ReplyDeleteI thought I had a pretty good emotional vocabulary until I tried to make a list of emotional words. Needless to say my emotional vocabulary was definitely not as good as I previously thought. However, I don't have a problem telling others how I feel unless the other person is in a position of authority. I have had bad experiences with immature employers who didn't like it when I told them how I felt about someone (which only happened when they asked). When I am speaking to friends, family, and coworkers I don't hold back, I feel really comfortable expressing my feelings.
ReplyDeleteSome feeling vocabulary I would add would be elated, mentally exhausted, irate, furious, and extatic.
Nicole Carey 315
I don’t think I’m very accurate when expressing my feelings. I tend to use too general of words to describe what I’m really feeling. For example, I use the word mad to mean angry, upset, hurt, disappointed, and agitated. My boyfriend especially loves to call me out about that. I try to guess what he feels from tone and body language. If I ask if he’s “mad” about something, he’ll reply back with an answer such as, “no, just irritated”. To me, it’s the same thing. I think I express how I feel with tone and body language more than I do with words. I really have a lot to learn about descriptive vocabulary. Other words to describe “Mad” are…
ReplyDeleteAngry, Upset, Hurt, Disappointed, Irritated, Unimportant, Agitated, Uncomfortable, Unwanted, Unneeded, Annoyed
Brandee Flynn Comm 315
Many words like sympathetic, happy, excited, etc., can easily be incorporated into talks about relationships. I like to think of words like accommodation, empathy and spontaneity. These three things bring on so many different emotions, but more importantly lead to a great relationship and keep things fresh but in perspective. By being accommodating and empathetic one leaves room for independence, but presents the idea of reliability and trust on the significant other. Spontaneity keeps the relationship in that stage of being new and exciting, giving both people the excitement and playfulness they had in the beginning. The two of these together provide an amazing sense of equilibrium in the relationship, bringing out only the best and most positive emotions.
ReplyDeleteTokova 460
ReplyDeleteI am generally pretty good at expressing my feelings. Since I still struggle with the English language, sometimes my words come out in the wrong context. I am still learning the right words to use in order to get my feelings across to other people. You can usually tell by the tone of my voice how I am feeling but I am working on the verbal expression. I love to learn new words to use and many of the ones listed in other blogs will find their way into my vocabulary.
Nick Valvano comm 315
ReplyDeleteI think I'm hit or miss when it comes to expressing my emotions. I think I tend to keep a cool head, and I always prided myself on never getting too angry when it came to conflicts, (although I have lost it every once in a long while). I think I have the ability to communicate my feelings well. I feel at times I have done that. However, I do feel that while I know exactly how I'm feeling I feel scared to express my feelings for whatever reason. Maybe not necessarily scared ,but uncomfortable. As a result I have bottled up my feelings on more occasions than I can remember. This is in direct opposite of my younger brother who will wear his emotions on his sleeve. I think there is certainly merit to both of these approaches, however it wasn't really until this class, that I've really come to terms it's not only okay to be upset, but it is also kind of healthy to express and feel that emotion.
That being said here are some feelings I have felt over the last 6 months. they are in no particular order, and this seemed a little easier than writing ever descriptive word I know:
The bad ones:
Apathetic, Spent, Depressed, Angry, irrational, melancholy, intimidated, rattled, left out, overlooked, disrespected, hurt, ashamed, burnt, frustrated, weird, alone, sad,overwhelmed, stinky, stoned (just kidding :) )
The good:
Ecstatic, hopeful, funny, smart, confident, pumped, prepared, calm, chill, loved, happy, wanted, focused, popular, excited, affable, admired, respected, ready, motivated, alive.
I think that this was an interesting exercise. I am a very passionate Greek. With Greeks, the gamut of emotions are expressed. I have never had a problem expressing my emotions, either rational or irrational. I like the list Ashley compiled with her friends. I can say with confidence that I have experienced all these in the past month or so. Great list. I am always thankful and of course, feel truly blessed to have the family I have. With that said, a lot of my emotion has to do with how connected I am to my family. I like the idea of building my emotional vocabulary, however, sometimes I simply say "awesome." I really like that word. It captures the sentiment I feel about 90 percent of the time. To some, the word has been devalued by cartoons and silly movie characters. It may seem juvenile but, things for the most part are pretty much awesome. We are living in truly momentous times, so we should all take full advantage the best we can of whatever your situation is.
ReplyDeleteTommy Kottalis-460