You've made your list of the people/things/activities that make you happy--now what? Foster & Hicks noticed something very important in their interviews with happy people: happy people make central to their lives that which brings them the greatest joy!
Sounds easy and like the smart thing to do, doesn't it? It is the smart thing to do, but oftentimes it isn't the easy thing to do. At times in our lives (or all the times in our lives) our life gets in the way of our happiness. Yes, we have responsibilities: raising children, earning a living, going to school, family obligations, cleaning the house (does anyone have the time to do that anymore?). At the end of the day, we collapse from the exhaustion of maintaining our daily responsibilities. So, where's the joy?
Happy people take one item from their Dream List and do it each day. Simple things that with just a little push can be incorporated in your day, such as: calling up a friend to say hello, making dinner with your significant person, reading a book with your children, or taking a walk. Thomas Moore, in his book entitled The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life (a good book) suggests that making the small things meaningful will bring enchantment to our everyday existence. Putting flowers on the dinner table and using the good china is one example. Really listening to someone is another.
Start with the small things on your Dream List and then move onto the big things like career, relocation, etc. The energy you will get from centralizing the items that make you happiest is amazing! So, what can you do to centralize the items on your List?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
315-50 Brandi Koch
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to remember on a daily basis - when life gets in the way - to focus on the small things that give us joy. I like the thought of focusing on one thing each day, as small as it may be, and finding happiness in something we might inadvertently take for granted. Instead of thinking of a phone call to mom as just another thing to add to the list for the day, think of it as the peaceful, re-energizing moment in the day. I think that this advice comes from the knowledge that every day is special and we should not "sweat the small stuff". I notice in my own life that my husband and I are struggling with our future goals and spending more time stressing about situations off in the distance than concentrating on the here and now. The relocation, career aspects of one's day can stress out the rest of your day if you are not careful and "mindful". I will be more aware of centralizing the items on my list and try to remember to take life one day at a time - even on the hectic days!
I have centralized some those things in my life already. I can always rely on two things for sure. I always wake up in the morning to a text message from my best friend. She goes to work at 8 a.m. and I usually don't wake up until around 9 or so. Throughout the day, we text each other or call, and hang out about every other night. When my mother passed away she was the first person there for me and the last person to say anything at night. The other thing is my dog, Rudy. He sleeps in my bed and, like most dogs, is always excited to see me any time of the day. I could have the worst day but those two things are always around when I need them. By having daily contact with my best friend and my dog with me throughout the day, I manage to keep a great balance of happiness in my day.
ReplyDeleteI never really thought of it that way. I may have to try the flowers. I guess in my marriage and really life I have focused on all of the big huge things and have been disappointed many times when things just don't happen. Focusing on smaller things coud probably make my whole family a lot happier. Thanks!! It only took 14 years to figure it out!!
ReplyDeleteI always try to focus on one or two things at a time in my life and make everything else secondary. At least as much as I can. For instance right now I am focusing on working out and doing well at my internship so I can find a job when I graduate in May. Sometimes that can get out of hand and I take it to the extreme and neglect other things in my life such as my family but I really want to make sure I live a fulfilling and happy life and also make sure those around me are happy too.
ReplyDeleteMaria R Davidson COMM 315-50
ReplyDeleteI think that my key to my own happiness is literally remembering to make myself a priority in my own life. I am literally so busy at all times that I often can't remember when I did anything to take care of myself, whether it be reading a magazine, calling a friend and really engaging in the conversation versus yelling at kids in the background, one on one time with my husband, or just to laugh and take enough time afterward to digest it. The most I can do to at placing myself back on my to do list is to spend an hour a day to do whatever I want with whom I choose...often times if it isn't working out then it is napping. I think when you forget to put yourself on your own to do list then you set the grounds for far worse times ahead.
Personally, I do know that it can be extremely difficult to centralize in your life the things that make you happy the most. Sometimes, you have to do whats necessary in order to get what makes "you" happy, depending on the circumstances. So just as was stated, we do have to start small and work our way to the most extreme things on the list. Such as my dream to relocated to Japan. I would most likely have to finish school first before that happens which clearly does not excite me to the same extent...=)
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of funny that this topic was brought up because my friends and I were just discussing it the other day. Something as simple as taking the time to call (or even better have dinner!) with a friend can make the day and week a lot happier. When I have a really busy week and I don't have time to touch base with those I care about it definitely puts a damper on the joy. Finding joy in small things, like a text message or finally catching up on some reading, is quite fulfilling. I know it's something I need to concentrate on every day, but many times the hustle of the day's activities get in the way.
ReplyDeleteTurner - 315
Wow, I really feel where you are comming from here, I can imagine centralizing the dream goals and making something out of your happiness everyday. I try to do something for myself and for others on a daily basis because thats what makes me happy, you have to do you to a certain extent but without others in your life hapiness will never reach its full potential ande sharing that with someone is the greatest joy in the world!
ReplyDeleteWow, the things I focus on in life that bring me the most happiness are the 2 people who brought me into the world, my mom and dad. My mom and dad are truly my best friends and I talk to them on a daily basis, sometimes more than once. We share our troubles and our happy times plus we give eachother advice about things we may be going through. It is the most meaningful relationship in my life. I have grown to love and apprectiate them for the people they really are and not just from a daughter/parent point of view. I am very blessed to have two wonderful people in my life who consistently help deliver my true happiness.
ReplyDeleteI agree with notion that we are so busy everyday that we do not think about the little things. My mind is always so focused on going to class and then to practice that I don't think of anything else. I forgot to call people who I love, and I never get to do things that I enjoy. My list would be first thanking God for allowing me to get up in the morning. I feel that everyday I should call at least one family member just to stay in touch. I don't speak to them enough. I really need to step back and take a minute for myself to think about things and just relax for once. I will try to sit for 5 minutes without noise and just reflect on life and where I am going. I think we all need a minute to ourselves once in a while. The main thing is just be appreciative and happy to be alive. Be thankful and greatful for everyone who has helped me.
ReplyDeleteBeing happy seems like it would be easy, but for so many people it isn’t. I like to think that I choose to be happy. I will admit I’m not where I want to be in my life, but I am getting there and I like the road that I am on and the path that I am taking. Almost three years ago, I had to make a huge choice about what I wanted in life and where I wanted to be. I was living at home, and my father announced that he was being transferred in his job to New Jersey. My parents weren’t really thrilled at the idea of moving, but felt it was the best choice for them and they wanted me to go too. At 25, I knew I was really ready to move out and be on my own, but the idea of my parents living 13 hours away wasn’t appealing either. So I had to choose. I had to make a tough choice about what was best for me and what was best for everyone else.
ReplyDeleteI chose to stay in Louisville and live on my own. Now that three years have gone by, I know I made the right choice. It hasn’t been easy on me or my family, but it was my choice. After that big change, I made a lot of changes in my life. In the process I had figured out what I wanted and started working to get it. I created a new home, I made friends and family more important, and I went back to school to pursue a career that I want instead of just working a job that I need. In the process I’ve become a more secure and a stronger, happier person. I even found love, and I am in a solid relationship. I’m still working to where I want to be and I occasionally am disappointed by the fact that I’m not where I want to be, but I am on my way there. I feel lucky and happy to know that I am working towards my goals.
Brandee Flynn
Comm 315
I haven't really taken the time to think about what makes me happy. I put most of my concentration on making my family happy. I have a baby that requires most of my time and I don't worry about myself. I need to make time for myself and enjoy life occassionally. I need the happiness in my life in oder to make the rest of my family happy.
ReplyDeleteJacqueline, I totally agree with you. I love my family ,especially my little brother. I really get along with them fine. If I mess up man will they let me hear it, but they also can be so supportive. I feel truly blessed to have them in my life. I love spending time with my friends and my team, and coworkers but I really miss my family if I don't se them for a couple days. I'm actually so torn ,because part of me wants to move out this fall and venture out on my own, with a couple of good friends as my roommates. Learn a little independence. However, at the same time I want to stay at home forever. But then I feel like I will become that forty year old guy like in the movie "Step Brothers". The other thing that I love is humor. I love to laugh, and often to wind down after work I go online and watch independent comedy sketches. I love those things on Collegehumor. Maybe a little too much as instead of working on this I watch funny parodies. I want to make some of my own sketches once I get a camera. I love to laugh and make people laugh. That just makes me happy...
ReplyDeleteMusic makes me feel better when I´m depressed. I forget my problems and dream about a better life in the future. It helps me a lot when the world starts to weigh down on me and I think it is much better than a therapist. Music makes me feel a sense of security and when I am listening to music I feel like I am connecting with someone. It's helped me through some of the roughest points in my life, and I owe it everything. It is one of my greatest joys.
ReplyDeleteNathaniel Harris Comm 460
ReplyDeleteMusic makes me feel better when I´m depressed. I forget my problems and dream about a better life in the future. It helps me a lot when the world starts to weigh down on me and I think it is much better than a therapist. Music makes me feel a sense of security and when I am listening to music I feel like I am connecting with someone. It's helped me through some of the roughest points in my life, and I owe it everything. It is one of my greatest joys.
I feel that the way to centralize the things on my list is to do exactly what it says in your post; make that extra little push. A lot of times we don't want to make the extra effort to do things that give back rewaring internals because it is easier to just kick back and do things such as watch t.v. or sleep. However, I feel that one must push themsleves in order to be happy. That is the real trick of life, that you must give to get. It isn't easy to push yourself, but if you can find time to commit to your goals, do things for others, and still take timeouts for yourself, it is possible to be happy in this world. I believe you must look for the right balance. - Zachary Dobson 315
ReplyDeleteTo centralize things on my list I things about the people in my life that bring me joy. I celebrated a birthday a few months ago and was overwhelmed at the love I received from my friends and family. I always knew that they cared for me, but that day was special. I heard from a friend that I hadn't kept in contact with for years and one of my friends threw me a surprise party. The cards, gifts and phone calls made my day even more special. I strive to do those little things in life for others that may make a difference in their day. Sometimes just a phone call to say 'I was thinking about you;' a compliment; card or just listening goes a long way.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I believe money would solve so many of my problems, but the people in my life that believe in me and care about me are what truly make me happy.
Karla Crawford-315
I am really going to try and centralize things on my list and possibly even add to my lists. I know the main important things in my life are my family. My Mom who is 81 and such a sweet lady depends on me for most everything. She has lost three sons, two in just the last few years and has had so much heartache. I want to be there for her so that I can hopefully ease the pain of all her loss. I'm her only living child now and it's a big responsibility to be just that. I don't mind at all because she has always been there for me so what can I say. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't so I'll just be here for her and by doing so I hope I'll make her life easier. I also want to dedicate myself to writing daily on my songs. I procrastinate a lot and like you say we need to push a little harder and do what we really want to do with our lives so I'm going to make the extra effort to write for at least 20 minutes each day on my songs. I love writing I've been doing it for over 20 years off and on. It's something I truly love and want to do so one of these days you all will be watching the CMA's and I'll get songwriter of the year and you'll say she said she was going to do it and she did. I think we just have to try harder and believe in ourselves and our dreams.
ReplyDelete