Today, I will digress from our thinking about the Self...
Our country is in the midst of a transfer of power from one administration to another. So, politics and history and change are in the minds (and talk) of many of us. However, let's put politics aside for a moment and look at the relationship between President-elect Obama and his wife.
Recently, I ran across an interesting post (click on "post" to read it) written by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, long-time marriage and family experts. The Hendricks analyze the marital relationship of the Obamas and assert the relationship can serve as a role model for the rest of the country.
Role models can teach us so much about the possibilities of relationships. We can learn how others navigate tough waters, how they build a life together that celebrates and respects both partners. This is particularly important for our young people. Unfortunately, the media and our personal life feature many broken relationships.
What qualities of the Obama relationship do you notice? What role models of healthy relationships do you have in your life?
This is one of the things that I like about Obama, his relationship with his wife. From the first time we heard of his name during the election you almost always saw his wife by his side rallying for him. I appreciate the fact we have a president with such a strong woman behind him. From the media I gain a positive perspective about their relationship: Barack made a point to thank his wife when elected and show his affection publicly; she is always positive about their relationship and displays a genuine smile when asked about their personal life.
ReplyDeleteI think about the healthy relationship role models in my life and the way those relationships have influenced the way I think relationships should be like. My parents realtionship has always been a role model relationship for me. My father has always adored my mother and mother the same towards my father. They have always been faithful and so supportive of each other's goals and dreams (even if that ment giving something up themselves). Their relationship has influenced my own marriage and I can truly say my husband and I aspire to have such a relationship 25 years down the road!
Rudolph-460.
I have seen Michelle Obama on several shows, including The Daily Show with John Stewart, which was one of the first times I had really heard her speak for herself and she is amazingly intelligent. I saw another broadcast of The Daily Show in which a Harvard professor, whose name escapes me now, was the guest and he was talking about how she was so smart and kept Barack in line at many times and helped him throughout much of the end of his college career.
ReplyDeleteTo me, it sounds as if Michelle and Barack Obama are as much friends as they are husband and wife, and I think that is just as important as anything. They are both very bright and, unlike many past first-families, I believe Michelle Obama will have a major impact on America and nearly all decision Barack is to make.
My mother and father were an amazing example of my ideal relationship. They always had fun together and rarely argued about anything. I only heard them raise their voices at each other mabe once or twice in 22 years. The way they acted around each other and each others' friends gives me a perfect picture of how I want my relationships to be.
Courtney Busick - COMM 460
ReplyDeleteAs I reviewed the compilation of photos from the Hendricks, I noticed how Barack and Michelle Obama really do have active listening skills with one another. When she is talking, he looks at her, makes eye contact, focuses on her gestures, and isn't staring off into space or just nodding his head. It is the same type of behavior when Michelle is listening to Obama. The behavior isn't fake, nor is the love. You can tell in their body language and through their active listening skills, they respect one another and genuinely love (or have affection for one another).
Unfortunately, my positive role models for romantic relationships are not abundant. My parent's divorced when I was 6 and my dad remarried when I was 9, but the relationship between him and my stepmother is not always a positive role model.
Because of this, I struggle in my own personal, romantic relationships. It's difficult for me to let my guard down and trust someone. I'm scared to get hurt and am constantly worrying about the future of the relationship, which only hinders the relationship in the present. I have really turned a new corner with my current boyfriend. Perhaps it is our similar backgrounds and history that we find solidarity and trust in one another.
We both look to our siblings as positive role models with their marriages. My sister and his brother are both respectful, thoughtful of their spouses needs, and have fostered positive communication skills. While we realize we cannot (and do not) have the exact same relationships as our siblings do with their spouses, we look to them for the positive attitudes they possess. Both set of siblings have remarked that their spouse is not just their husband and/or wife, but their friend. My boyfriend and I have the same thought process. We are friends with one another. We use this as our foundation.
The Hendricks' article really opened my eyes to the Obamas' marriage. I'll admit I voted Republican, not the most popular in our country right now, but I also realize that today is a day of new beginnings...of change...a turning point in our society, and I'm hopeful. I hope that Obama will be the president our country needs right now and will reflect a more positive image of the United States to the rest of the world. Goodness knows we need that.
ReplyDeleteReading this article and looking through the photos, I have a newfound respect for the new presidential couple. This is the relationship example we need, and I am interested to see how the unique pressures of being president of our nation are handled in their marriage. If their history together means anything, I think our new President and First Lady will tackle their new challenges in much the same manner as they have throughout their marriage thus far--with mutual respect.
Having such an example is so important, especially considering the opposite is so prevalent in our celebrities today. And I think that's partially responsible for the growing misconception in the minds of many young people, and I'm including people of my age (28) and above in that group. I think so many young women these days are more interested with "getting" married than "being" married. Weddings can get so out of control, and girls want that princess experience--the white dress, the fairytale wedding, being the center of attention, etc. When you are so caught up in the dreamy planning stage, you lose sight of what comes after it. A wedding should not be the main focus of a relationship, but rather the vehicle that drives you from singledom to marriage.
If we really want to have successful romantic relationships, I think it's important to recognize that it will never be perfect. It takes work, and that's one thing I can thank my parents for teaching me--both through their words and actions. My parents have been married for 35 years, and though they've had their fair share of struggles, they still love each other and have never stopped being affectionate and respectful toward each other. The older I get, and especially because I failed in my first marriage, the more I realize that it's constant work. But it's rewarding work. I am grateful for the example of my parents. They are a constant reminder to me that the rewards of marriage far outweigh the costs.
Thompson - 460
I am about the same age as the Obama's and I think it is fantastic that they really do appear to have a genuine, loving, give and take, equal partnership. It is important for young men and women (heck, us older folks, too) to be reminded of what true love, respect and friendship looks like. My prayer or hope for the Obama's is that they will remain happy with each other while trying to do a job as daunting as being President and First Lady of this country.
ReplyDeleteAs with some of the others on this board, my parents are my primary role model for a loving relationship. I have always and continue to be proud of them. I thought they were a bit ahead of their time in the 60's when they both pursued school and careers while sharing parenting and household duties. This considering they both came from very traditional Southern families who thought my folks were "hippies" or something:)
My own marriage of almost 25 years could use some attention and I could learn from the Obama's. I am very guilty of not taking time during my hectic schedule to really listen to my husband. If the Obama's help me to change even that aspect, I will have been well served.
Woods-315
The Obama’s are setting the tone for so many things all at once, but one of the things that I notice the most about them is there relationship and the way that they interact with each other. Many of the couples during today’s events walk arm and arm but the Obama’s as well as the Clinton’s walked with their spouses hand and hand. To me that just shows so much respect and I believe that these couples see their spouses as their true equals. Mr. and Mrs. Obama are such a lovely couple, and every time I see them together in the public’s eye I can tell that they love each other, as well as support each other. They are common everyday people, who come from backgrounds very similar to common everyday people and the way that they interact in front of the media conveys the message that they are just like you and me and that is part of what makes them good role models for society.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the Obama’s have the type of marriage that will stand the test of time. You can tell that they truly love and support each other. I know that they have the kind of love that will carry them through there term of presidency because we all know that it will be a tough one.
On another note, statistics show that marriages aren’t what they use to be. People don’t believe in the value, and spirituality of marriage, and some may get married for all of the wrong reasons. I know that if I ever get the opportunity to get married I want to get married one time and one time only I want my marriage to last forever, but who doesn’t. I’m sure that when people get married some of them do plan to be together forever, but it doesn’t always work out that way. When it comes to the true meaning of marriage I think about my grandparents because they have been married the longest. They have seen and been through a lot over the years and I feel that when they got married it was in a time when people truly loved each other and got married for all of the right reasons. They are my example of what marriages should be. They have been together through good and bad times and have never been apart from each other. I hope that one day I will be married to a man who will help me exhibit the type of unconditional love that my grandparents have conveyed to me over the years.
G.Mason-460-50
Shannon Cline-460
ReplyDeleteI think the post by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks says alot about The Obama's relationship. When you see them on television they do look genuine, you can tell she isn't just putting on for the television she actually cares and is supporting him and the way he looks at her shows more than just love, but respect as well.
My Parents are my relationship role models. They have been married for at least 37 years and have never strayed or seperated. They are actually really cute when they are together, mom still calls him love. When goes on hunting trips she puts little love notes in his luggage and he arranges to have flowers sent to her when his trip is halfway through. They hold hands and laugh. Their love is very obvious. When I was a kid I never heard a cross word between them. I have always wanted to have a relationship as strong as theirs, and honestly I don't know how they do it.
Shannon Cline-460
Ya know I am going to be completely honest here, I did not vote for Obama and I really don't like the fact that he is in office from a political standpoint. But as far as personal goes,the relationship that Barack and his wife have in public is very commendable. Like the article said, they appear to have genuine interest in eachother and the words that come out of eachothers mouths. This is a model for a relationship that everybody should look at in today's world where so many marraiges end in divorce and disdain. Often times the problem is communication, somebody does not listen to the other etc... In this case with both of the Obamas giving such a good example it would do well for couples around the country to pay close attention to that aspect of Obama's life.As far as role models in my life I really don't have much to look at in terms of relationships. My parents and two sets of grandparents have divorced at least once. The only possible ones to look at are my moms parents who have been married for about 35 years, although that is only because their religion does not allow them to divorce. But I definitely understand the importance of communication in a relationship, and especially two way communication. If it is only linear communication in a relationship it is bound to not work out. I feel that I have very good communication skills and will hopefully be able to use them in my future telationships.
ReplyDeleteAdam Froman-315
I agree with everyone. I noticed the connection between Obama and Michelle immediately. That was one thing that sold me on voting for him. Seeing a black influential couple exemplify what real marriage and commitment means. As forestated by others, they actively listen to each other and seem to be true life partners. I love the story of how they met and eventually became husband and wife.
ReplyDeleteMy mother used to always tell me that a man tells you how he really feels with his eyes. When you see the Obama's together, you can see in Barack's eyes a genuine love and respect for Michelle. He values her presents and consults her because he cares about her opinion and has great regards for her intellect.
To me, Michele is not just a great example of a wife but a mother also. I see how she pays attention to the girls, Sasha and Malia. They are everywhere that the parents are.
Looking at the relationships that influence my life, I have to say my aunt and late uncle. I never heard them argue in 34 years of marriage, 6 kids, and the ups and downs of life in a fluctuating economy. They were best friends and genuinely in love with each other. When my uncle passed, my aunt loved him so much she went ill for several years and is still not completely 100%. The love they shared was so strong, people in the community would always comment that they wanted a relationship of that magnitude. My parents are a good example of a good relationship as well. They have been together for 22 years and as the time progresses, they seem to get closer and closer. They give me hope in the societal age of divorce that marriage can work!
I believe that the Obamas are excellent role models. It is really easy to tell by just watching them how much they love each other. I watched them on an interview by Barbara Walters. They were genuine people. They talked about their love of family time, and how it was very important to them to keep the things that Sasha and Malia's lives as close as possible to how they were before they were in the White House while in the White House. Michelle Obama made the comment that the house keepers could make her bed but not the kids beds. I thhink this is great. I can't wait to journey through the next four years with them.
ReplyDeleteI believe that my husband of 11 years and I could learn a lot from the Obamas. As busy as their lives are they still make time for each other. If they can do it then we should strive to do a little better too.
I look up to the relationship that my grandparents have. They have been married for almost 60 years. I do not recall ever hearing them argue or have ill words about each other ever in my 33 years. I think if we went back to good old famiy values of the past relationships would be better.
The Obama's are a breathe of fresh air, watching them makes me proud. They bring excitement and energy that hasn't been witnessed in former first couples. They love and respect one another and it shows. During interviews they attentively look and listen to one another, and sit closely together either holding hands or slightly touching. They don't cut each other off to get their point across. Their admiration for one another is apparent.
ReplyDeleteWhen Barrack won the primaries, there was a shot of Michelle bumping fist with him 'giving him dapp.' That simple gesture communicated to him that she was proud of him, that he (they) did it. I believe that they are partners for life and will be a great example for couples and singles to exemplify.
The role models of healthy relationships in my life are my parents. They've been together for 35+ years and in those years I continue to see a great deal of mutual respect and consideration for one another. They are best friends who genuially enjoy each others' company. They share of love of family, food, sports and travel. My father loves to eat and my mother is a great cook so he often does a great deal of grocery shopping while she prepares the meal. My father spoils her and still tells her that she is pretty. What I enjoy most about their relationship is that when they have a disagreement, they settle it immediately-they communicate openly and advise others to do the same. They are great parents and friends.
From the first time I saw the Obama family I figured that their was something special about their relationship. They seem to be very genuine people. I enjoy how she seems to stand by her man and he doesn't seem to push her to the side. Mrs. Obama seems to have a very strong personality and I sure this has helped President Obama along his journey. I also like the way President Obama seems to be a genuine father to his kids. I keep repeating the word "seems" because it is early in his Presidency and we all know that things can change, look what happened during the Clinton administration.
ReplyDeleteWhat I will say is that President Obama and First Lady Michelle, right now, are a model for everyone to pattern their relationship after. Especially for those people, like me, that don't have many positive relationships to model their relationships after. This is not meant to be a bad reflection of my parents because both of them have always been their for me, they just weren't always together. So while I watch the Obama family down the road I hope and pray that they continue to be positive role models for people to pattern their relationships after. Because nowadays relationships don't seem to carry the weight that they once did. People need positive people to pattern their relationships after and who better than the most powerful family in the world?
I really like having the relationship of President Obama and Michelle in the media because it serves as such a positive role model. I love the fact that the continue to be protrayed as "normal people". They do not get tied up in the the media and pressures of being celebrities of sort. They are able to show their affection in public and give a sense or normalcy that we so often dont see in couples in the media. The even dont allow this to affect their family life. Their children will still be children with chores who have to make their bed instead of living their life taken care of by mades. I think this all sets such a positive example for people to follow when our president and first lady are such real normal everyday people.
ReplyDeleteI think the relationships in my life I have been able to grow up around such as my grandparents just shows that love is so strong and can last over so many years and illness and still be such an example for everyone of how a happy marriage looks.
Casebier, Ashley
ReplyDeleteWhen I watch the Obama's I see lots of love and support. I actually thought when I was watching the swearing in of President Obama of what Michelle must be thinking. She looked at him like she was nervous for him but also proud of him. If I were Michelle I would be feeling very proud of my husband and how special his accomplishment is to many people. When I watch them interact with crowds they always seem to be close to each other or reaching out for each other. I never really saw that with President Bush and his wife Laura. I also notice the President's daughters and their relationship with their mom and dad. The oldest daughter is always taking pictures of her dad with her camera. I think that is special because she will see pictures of the inauguration for the rest of her life but to take the time to take her own pictures of how she sees her dad is special.
I don't have a role model marriage that I look at and admire. My mom and dad are divorced, my grandparents remained married despite their constant bickering. I hope to find a marriage to look up to as a role model as I am in that search in my life right now.
Kathy Mattingly--COMM 315
ReplyDeleteI have been watching the Obamas for awhile now and have always noticed their affection for each other. It always seemed to me to be rooted in great respect and deep admiration for each other. I watched them on the campaign trail and saw how much they enjoyed being together but also how they were both independent individuals. I believe the Obamas will be great rold models for relationships, if people will look at them in that fasion. Here you have two very independent people with great admiration and respect for each other, who have come together as a couple and are not in a power struggle and have not lost their identities. I love watching them together because they know when to defer to each other and they show genuine interest in each other(as in the Barbara Walters interview). They also show a unified front, not just in what they say but also in how they act and in their nonverbal communication. You can tell it is very important to them to always be on the same page; they don't necessarily have to always agree but they seem to come to a mutual understanding and show that to the world. I admired when Barack said that Michelle was always the voice in his head. To me that shows that he respects her opinions and always thinks about her when making decisions. I wish them the best of luck in the next 4(8) years!
In my own life I haven't really had that many strong relationships to learn from. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my maternal grandparents were divorced as well. My paternal grandfater passed away soon after I was born so I never saw him with my grandmother. I have to say though the relationship my parents have maintained over the years has taught me a lot. While most divorced couples dislike each other and only talk because they have to when children are involved my parents weren't like that. I think they have been better friends since getting divorced than they were when they were married! I think some of that comes from the example my maternal grandmother set because she never fought with my grandfather after they divorced. She even let him come live with her when he got really sick and needed someone to care for him. She took care of him after his first heart attack and she was there when he died of another heart attack. My parents have always been there for me and even thought they aren't married they will gladly do things together when it concerns me & my sister. My parents drove together to see me as part of the Homecoming Court at WKU, they came to Parent's Day together, we have birthday dinners together every year and it's not awkward for them. Even though their marriage didn't work, I learned that you have to be friends with someone in order to truly love them and that it takes time to find the right person for you. The boyfriend I have now had a similar situation with his parents and we have made a committment to each other to always communicate how we're feeling. We've learned that you can't let little things go because they turn into big things and then they blow up on you. We're celebrating our first year together this weekend and we're just taking it one day at a time with plenty of communication.
Angela Clayton says...
ReplyDeleteI find this blog very interseting because I find it crazy that so many people are not use to couples actually respecting each other and actually find an interset in what their partner is saying. When President Obama was introduced to the media at the beginning of election time I watched a few of the interviews that featured Obama and his wife. I immediatelty noticed that they listened and contained eye contact with one another throughout the whole interview. Some people even had the nerve to ask President Obama after an interview to share the secret of actually lisenting to their partner and he resopnsed that it was not an act but that he actually has an inteseted in what his wife feels and says. First ladies mother is moving into the White House to help everyone adapt to their new home and to help maintain their healthy close realtionship in their family.
My parents are my role model couple after being married for over 25 years. Although, their realtionship is not perfect (who's is?) They have stuck through hard times and when many couples spilt and take the easy road. My parents have worked through their issues and have built a stonger bond between one another. I hope that when I do get married one day that my husband will truly care about who I am and actually take an interset in me.
Sydney Smith
ReplyDeleteOne of the most important qualities that I have noticed from the relationship between President Obama and the first lady is that there is a great deal of mutual respect between the two of them. As the article described, when she speaks he listens and focuses his attention on her. He is never shy to reach out to her and show a bit of affection. Also, it is beautiful to see that regardless who is around and how many cameras are on them, it doesn't change the love and affection they display towards on another. I think to have this couple in the white house is another great thing about Barack Obama becoming president. His relationship between he and his wife will allow for a great example of a loving family to be on display for the world to see. We live in an era where divorces and single parent homes are more than common, and few kids ever get to see what its like to have a loving relationship, the Obamas put their loving example on display to gives kids and parents up as far as their own individual relationships and again, its a very beautiful thing. :-)
The most noticable dynamic of the Obama's reltionship is the attentiveness and support that each provide for each other. In each of the pictures shown from the article, both of them seem to dedicate full attention to the other. They have their eyes fixed almost as if there is knowone else in the room. I also garner a great deal of respect for Michelle. Playing the role of mother while constantly being in the public eye, could be unbeliveably strainful. Yet, come every campaign stop, there she was, children in tow, smile on here face, supporting her husband.
ReplyDeleteMy grandparents have been great reltionship role modles for me. They have been together for sixty two years, which to me is just amazing. Even when my grandpa was overseas with the service, she stood by his side. Not to say that it was always easy. Growing up, in a 3 bedroom house with 9 children, could definately pose some marital strife. Somehowm, though, after all these years they have continually found a way to make it work.
Posted by Branden Hatfield
Comm 315-50
I strongly feel that today’s generation can learn a lot from the Obama's marriage. When you enter into a union of marriage you not only say your vows but you forgo thinking of yourself first. You take on the responsibility of your husband/wife's happiness as well.
ReplyDeleteI remember seeing in an interview the one determining factor that President Barack Obama faced when deciding to run for office. He said that without his wife and children's full support he would chose not to take on the enormous task. I don't think that he meant the "usual" support you give a spouse but instead knowing that Michelle, Sasha and Malia are all comfortable knowing that they will be in the public eye, every move made will be judged and along with praise will come great criticism of their loved one, Barack. The position takes on our nation as a whole which is an enormous stressor (aging of the presidents) but when you add that complexity to a marriage then there are sure to be turbulent times ahead.
When watching the Obamas together they seem to be extremely respectful of one another and completely in-love. They exemplify that marriage takes more to work than a friendship and the total devotion that is present between them is to be desired by many.
I can only hope for this couple, as well as the many impressionable people that will grow up watching them, that they remain strong and united as the US needs to refrain from treating divorce as the "quick fix" and instead work to keep marriages intact. Not all couples need to remain married however I feel that the Obama’s can easily stand as the poster-children for what it takes to make a marriage work during times of both hope and uncertainty.
Posted by Maria R Davidson
COMM 315-50
When I think of Obama I just don't think of him I think of his wife and children. They show that marriage and family is important and valuable. They show each other respect and that they support each other. It is rare to see married couples show their love for one another so passionatly. The media has destroyed what marriage realy means. It's cool to get a divorce and have custody battles. But I know for sure the Obama's are going to show our country what marriage and family is all about.
ReplyDeleteMy grandparents have been married for sixty two years. They are both 82 years old nad they are my role models. Now that I'm married I think of them when thing may get a little fustrating. I know they have not always had good days because of the stories they share with my husband and I. I know that my husband and I will be together till death do us part. Divorce is not an option. Working things out is an option and my grandparents have showed us that. Now we have the Obama's.
Morgan Tardiff
ReplyDeleteIt’s hard to say how wonderful the Obama’s relationship really is, but from what I can see they have a very strong and supportive relationship. I think she helps keep him grounded and will continue to do so while he’s in the white house. You can tell they enjoy spending time together and she is always right there beside him. I think you can also tell by the way their kids act that they have a very loving and strong relationship. They are both willing to talk about their relationship in the media. I think they want others to see that it’s possible for two people in the media to truly love each other and not let the media harm what they have built.
When I think about a healthy relationship role models in my life I think about my parents. They have been married for 25 years and their relationship is stronger then ever. It does put a lot of pressure on me, but I think it’s a good type of pressure. I want someone to look at me the same way my father still looks at my mother. I want to have the same type of relationship with my future spouse 25 years down the road.
The Obama’s really do seem to support and care for each other. Their relationship seems genuine and not an act to look good in the public eye. Communication that flows freely between two people is rare in our country these days. I’ve noticed how the Obama’s pay attention to each other. I think their relationship is a great role model for everyone. Communication can make or break a marriage. Many marriages fail because people can not learn to communicate.
ReplyDeleteI think my parents’ relationship is similar to the Obama’s. My parents have been married for 28 years, and even more significantly, happily married for 28 years. They turn to each other for the good times and the bad. I am in a relationship that I see a future in and communication is key to our relationship. I look to my parents’ relationship as a role model to my own.
Brandee Flynn Comm 315
I noticed the great bond that Barack and his wife have from the very moment they came in to the eyes of the American people. It is very evident that they are in love and that they have great communication skills with eachother and their children. I think the fact that they speak to each other and listen to eachother even during one another's public speeches is very important in the success of their relationship. It shows that they care about the other's ideas and plans. Communication is key in the success od all aspects of life not just love relationships. I think the fact that we have a president who listens well and communicates well is key to getting our economy back on track.
ReplyDeleteSome role models that I have that practice good communication are my grandma and her husband. Yes, she is remarried, but is very evident that she is a lot happier because her present husband listens to her and helps her with things she needs. They are great friends and also work together. When you are around someone all day you must get along with them very well to have a successful relationship. They are a great couple to learn from. They have been together for ten years now.
Zachary Dobson
Being accountable means taking responsibility for your actions and owing up to them whether good or bad. The decisions that we make throughout our lives are what we often consider to be best for a particular situation at a particular time. Sometimes we reget our decisions and other times we are satisfied with them depending on the outcome.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe that anyone is happy all the time, but I do know a few people who seem to be happy everytime you see them. They don't complain or dwell over life circumstances which they have no control over; they don't openly gossip or put others down. They welcome the beauty of life both the good and the bad. They seem to have the mindset that, 'when life bring you lemons, you make lemonade' no matter what. Some people believe that money and material processions will bring about happiness, however happiness lies within the individual. A common characteristic that they seem to share is that they serve humanity by volunteering or giving back to others through time and/or money. I used to refer to people who are genuiely happy as, 'one of those people.' I admire their zest for living and wish I had a small piece of it. Their ability to make me want to aspire to be like them--as they are special. Happiness is a state of mind not always easily attained.