Relationships are composed of "webs" of interaction--some more tangled than others!
A relationship equation must consist of various entities: each individual person + the relationship they create together + the social context in which they conduct that relationship (their work, school, community obligations, other relationships) + the cultural context (the norms or rules associated with the relationship).
Each of these entities impact the other. In other words, they are interdependent. And the entities are constantly changing--shifting in response to changes within and without the relationship.
Choose an important relationship in your life and describe the different parts that are in play, starting with you and your partner and moving up to the level of the relationship, the social network, and the culture in which you live. As a result of this exercise, I think you will begin to understand the complexities involved in relating to others.
My hope is that you will understand that relationships are complex, ever-changing, miraculous accomplishments!
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Mattingly, Kathy--COMM 315
ReplyDeleteI like your description of relationships as "webs". I've never looked at them in that manner but after reading this post and looking at the relationship with my boyfriend, I see the web you're talking about. I actually "mapped" out our relationship and in joining the two people everything began to look like a spider web with the various friends, families, work life, etc. I'm very excited about learning more on interpersonal realtionships.
I completely agree that relationships are composed of "webs"! Some are obviously much more intertwined than others depending on the complexity of the relationship. The relationship I have with my mother would look far more extensive than one I may share with a friend. I've even noticed in my own marriage that when I quit working to return to school, the interpersonal communication that is held between my husband and I changed in many ways. I look forward to better understanding my interpersonal communication with others in my life as well.
ReplyDeleteMy name is Adam Froman and I am in this class but I decided to go under anonymous because I cant figure out how to make the other ones work. But yes a web is a very good descritpion of a relationship. My ex and I were together for three years which began in high school, it amazed me that any relationship could make it through high school when people are so young and immature. Then once you get through that mess we both went to junior college, which in itself is difficult-meeting tons of new people, having defferent schedules, being open to new opportunities etc... And what finally caught up with us was actually college. With me coming here from California (2300 miles) and here going to college back home we decided not to do the long distance relationship. But to this day I am still impressed that we made it as long as we did with the challenges that are faced everyday.
ReplyDeleteI will have been married 25 years this July. Our "web" is extensive and I think it that "web" that held us together through the rough times. Though we never had children, we both have mutual friends, large extended families on both sides, pets, work friends...I guess web is the perfect term for it.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I don't feel like we fit into our cultural norms as we tend to do a lot of things separately. While it works well for us, many people see it as an abnormal relationship. I like to travel and my husband (who was on the road for many years) is now a homebody.
I look forward to studying interpersonal relationships in depth. I tend to be a bit introspective anyway so it helps to read and learn from others.
Courtney Busick - COMM 460
ReplyDeleteIt's fascinating to read everyone's thoughts and discussions on their own relationship webs. It's important for me to remember each person and each relationship web is different from my own. For the longest time, I was worried about a friend of mine and his relationship with a friend of my boyfriend's. They are dependent on each other. They work out together, go to church together, live two blocks from one another, see each other everyday, but they aren't married (yet). I would make some snide comment like, "Why don't you two just get married already?" I realized it was me reacting to a different type of relationship web than what my boyfriend and I have together. We enjoy many of the same things, like genre of movies, watching football, and going to museums, but we aren't dependent on one another to do these things. How my boyfriend and I create and build on our relationship web is different than our friends and that's OK. This is the biggest lesson I have learned and feel intimate communication will continue to teach me. Everyone is different and what works for one couple might not for another.
The description of relationships as "webs" is an excellant way to illustrate the complexity that they are composed of. I have never thought about a relationship being a "web" but now it seems so obvious.
ReplyDeleteI never really thought about the social context of the relationship as having a large impact on the relationship. Upon reflection it's pretty obvious how the environment affects the relationship - from coworkers who just chat at work to those who may have a drink afterward or go shopping.
Hi Im Nancy. Relationships are a whole new world on there own. Everyone struggles with them romantically or not. I try to learn from past experiences and others experiences, but that sometimes isn't enough. I would love to have the feeling that I could depend on someone in all aspects. Saftey and security are unknown feeling for me when it comes to relationships. I have become pretty immune to these feelings. I hope thst maybe I can learn to let back a little and just go with the flow in future relationships. I have experienced that when a man gets hurt from a female they almost give up on relationships. If a woman gave up on a heathy relationship just because they have been hurt in the past it would make a lot of lonely people. I try to never give up and always have hope!
ReplyDeleteThe relationship subject is never a boring subject. I feel like I am very able to maintain a healthy relationship. I love my friends, family, and coworkers. Romantic relationships are totally different. It is very hard to meet someone in my opinion. You have to meet someone to start a relationship. I have met many men who say I've been hurt and no more. If a woman gave up after one bad relationship there would be a lot of lonley people. Because of this I feel like I am immune to having feelings where I could depend or be 100% safe with someone. I hope to learn from this blog and maybe not be so independent that it would push others away.
ReplyDeleteN J Kindrick
I have a unique relationship to examine. My co-worker, who was my boss prior to a merger that occurred, has had a very hard time adjusting to the change in roles from being someone in a position of authority to someone who is my equal. Our communication has obviously changed from somewhat comfortable to quite awkward because she is not sure how to address me. Because our communication is awkward, the office environment is a bit tense.
ReplyDeleteIt is very easy to notice changes between my fiance and I because we are comfortable saying how we feel and what we think, but it is typically not as clear in a work situation when you are encouraged to act professionally and not sit down and discuss the issues at hand.
Comm 315 Rebecca Hunt
Posted by Branden Hatfield:
ReplyDeleteThe relationship I would like to discuss is that of my friend Dean and I. Under normal circumstances, Dean and I would have probably never met, or become friends. He is about ten years older than me, he isn't a sports fan, and we just do not share any common interest. Yet, under the social umbrella of the workplace, we have become great friends. I believe that when you start a new occupation, you obviously try to seek out those you can relate to. Dean and I are the only males in our department; therefore we use that as a common bond. After some time working in my current job, I came to find that we shared the same opinions about management, and operations within our organization, strengthening our common interest. Without the workplace creating a social environment allowing us to find common interest, we would have never met, and developed a friendship.
Well, I've always viewed relationships as something complex and ever-changing. I have also noticed that of course, one person can have so many levels of disclosure with one relationship and they don't necessarily have the same relationship with everyone. The amount of information i disclose to my father or the way I act around him may not be the same way I act toward my mother or my grandmother, or even my boyfriend's sister. I don't know if this is pertinent or not but I just wanted to know if one can lose the essence of themselves eventually if the levels of closeness with certain relationships is not maintained or become off balance.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with the entire "web" idea. I have many complicated relationships in my life but one that I am currently working on is with my son's father. We've known eachother since elementary school and in highschool we started dating and tried to do the college thing but life got in the way. Tragedies and other events changed our relationship completely. I came from a family with a lot of secrets but we went to church every sunday and were taught to have high morals and standards and he was a kid with a mother going through an extreme midlife crisis which negatively affected our relationship. Over the years our relationship changes and we have had to overcome a lot and find forgiveness when it seemed impossible but no matter how distant strained or angry we are when the **** hits the fan or when we need help getting back up, I know I can count on him and vise versa. He has recently come out of a rehabilitation house and has a new life, new friends, and new rituals, but he tries to include me and my son regardless of whether we are together or not we have never stopped trying to get things right with one another. I know part of it has to do with making ammends but I also think because of our history no one is closer to me or knows me as well as him. I can say with all honesty that "web" underestimates this relationship, it can be extremely exhausting and mentally draining.
ReplyDeleteWithout relationships I would live a boring life! I agree that relationships being described as a "web" is a great association of words. When I first moved to Louisville five years ago and began to develop relationships I would have never guessed the degree of seperation amongst the people I would meet, it was so close!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I originally met at a Derby party that a mutual friend hosted in 2007. But upon developing a friendship we would soon discover how close we came to meeting each other much sooner!
I attended high school in Northern Kentucky, however my family and I would visit Louisville frequently to see family. One of our favorite places to go when we did visit was a resturant that Phill's (my husband) parents owned. Phill at the time was working at the resturant and was always there.
Skip to college years and I am befriending many people through a good friend's fraternity. Turns out that Phill is an alumni of the same frat! Through all of the possible ways we could've met, not to mention we had many of the same friends, we meet at a derby party in 2007 over beer pong (aw, romantic!).
Rudolph, Meg.
Megan Powers, Comm 315-50
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting topic. I will talk about my relationship with my brothers. I am the oldest of three kids and have two younger brothers. They are my best friends. They are 17 and 12. Don't get me wrong, I have friends my own age and whatnot, but my relationship with them is stronger than any friendships I have ever had. We are all different in so many respects, but we understand each other so well. Most people say it is unusual for siblings to be so close, but I can't imagine it any other way. I think this relationship with my family has fostered a strong sense of self and a high self-esteem and has contributed positively to my relationships with other people.
I find this topic of discussion about relationships as "webs" to be quite interesting as well. I have been married to my husband for 4 yrs now but have been together a total of 9 yrs. I had no idea of who he was when I went to college at Eastern Kentucky University. A group of friends that I went to high school with and were older brought him to my 18th birthday. We began dating immediately and have been together ever since. We now have 2 children, and something interesting that i have noticed lately is that several mutual friends of ours that you would not ever expect to see together much less married, have recently gotten married and have had children as well. We all hang out now and this social "web" keeps growing due to common interests that we share (families, children). Another web in my social life that is expanding is through my 6 yr old daughter. She started Kindergarten this year and my husband, my daughter and myself have met several new parents and children that we hope our friendships will grow and last. I am very interested in Interpersonal Communications and look forward to learning new things and discussing these topics with all of you.
ReplyDeleteCasebier, Ashley
ReplyDeleteThe relationship "equation" I am choosing to analyze is that of my boyfriend Jason and I. Jason is older by 2 years and a computer engineer from Louisville, KY. He has lived here his whole life. He enjoys spending time with his family and friends and is very outgoing. I am about to be a marketing college graduate that is originally from Denver, CO and have lived several places during my life. I am more self reserved around others and tend to be shy if I am meeting a new peer in the beginning. As you can see Jason and I are pretty opposite but we have created a "web" together and have an intimate relationship. The social context of our relationship isn't tied to one particular place or area. We met in school and now exist in the community of Louisville. Culturally our relationship allows us to invade each others personal space to hug or kiss, something typical Americans don't do with just friends (although in other countries it is common).
I am going to use mine and my husbands relationship as an example. I do agree that there is a web with relationships, although I think we go agains the social norm and our web was short. I worked with Jason's mom and I had just left (literally) my first husband and he came to work one night we met in the parking lot when I was walking out with his mom and we decided that we both wanted to go riding around and that was that. I was divorced from my first husband 2 months later, pregnant 2 weeks after that and married to Jason 4 months after that. I think we are different in that we are each others only friends, we don't do the social thing, and if we do something we do it together. Completely unhealthy because there are times we are literally sick of each other but anytime we mention doing something the key to doing it is doing it with each other. I suppose we are each others web.
ReplyDeleteShannon Cline Comm460