Do You Choose To Be Happy?

In a post last week, I presented a model of the Self as one who makes choices about attitudes, emotions, and behaviors. A wonderful book, entitled How We Choose To Be Happy by Foster & Hicks, documents the choices happy people make in the face of often difficult life circumstances.

The authors interviewed hundreds of "happy people" in order to figure out what made them happy. From that interview data, the authors developed a happiness model. The first component of the model is Intention. The key question happy people ask (and answer) is this: What attitude will best enhance the quality of the experience right now? Asking this question gives us the opportunity to move from negative to positive feelings. It is an important question because it makes us pause and reflect on how we are feeling and how we want to feel. Once the desired feelings are discovered, we can choose to approach a situation differently.

Happy people report they start their day setting their intentions. These intentions might involve small tasks and activities for the day or they might involve long-term, life-altering situations.

Make a list of your most important intentions. Some examples might be: I intend to be a loving, supportive parent; I intend to spend quality time with my romantic partner; or I intend to learn something new. At the end of each intention, write "and I intend to feel happy about it."

Now, examine your list of intentions and think about how you feel about each intention. Does it feel authentic? Does it match what I've been feeling all along? If it doesn't, why haven't you had the intention to be happy?

We will continue examining the happiness model of Foster & Hicks in the next several posts!